It's a rainy day here in San Francisco. I had originally planned to be downtown all day on foot scouting shelters and introducing myself to their managers. The incessant rain postponed that plan for a day or two! I'm presently parked at Lands End near Ocean Beach. The weather has forced me to slow down and reflect for a while, so I felt a new blog post was in order.
Shortly after I parked here this morning, a gentlemen just a bit older than me stopped to ask questions about my truck. As many are, he was surprised to learn Hella is my home. His final words upon parting were, "You make homeless look good son!". I was uncharacteristically stunned by his comment, and totally failed to give my standard response to being called homeless. It's been a while since anybody has called me that. I know he meant it as a compliment too, so it wasn't really a moment for correction especially since he said it as he walked away. But, it was a good reminder of how not homeless I am and how varied people's perception of homelessness is.
In my opinion, personal choice is what defines the difference between homelessness and alternative styles of shelter. Just as is the case with all the nomads I personally know, I planned for and chose to make my vehicle into a rolling home. This is not to say that everyone I've met who has prepped and built out a vehicle to be their home wouldn't prefer to have a traditional brick and mortar home. Many have chosen this route because it's the only way they can afford to pursue their life goals. But, that again was their choice. They could have continued just barely getting by renting a room in a house or a studio apartment or whatever they were doing. But, to do so meant living a life of pure survival. No money for anything but rent, food and bills. So, they decided to get a rig and build it out to be their home whether they stayed put in the same town while working or took to the road nomadically. Either way, the move allowed them to actually save money each month and have more of a life they wanted. They made a choice.
People who are homeless did not prepare for it. They did not choose it. Many argue that they actually did choose it as a consequence of poor choices along the way. I submit to you that that does not constitute a conscious choice. I respectfully challenge you, (as I do anyone who engages this topic with me), to think back to your teens and twenties. How many times in your youthful immortality and cluelessness did you get unbelievably lucky and not suffer life changing consequences as a result of stupid choices you made? I was not a wild pup in my youth, yet I can still think of a number of times when I chose poorly and got super lucky to not have paid a huge personal price. Or worse yet, hurt or killed someone as a result of an idiotic spontaneous action. When I get to hear the life stories of those who are truly homeless, huge personal trauma is always the catalyst for their lives spiraling out of control. Unbearable pain which lead them to seek out anything that could blunt the agony. Then there are homeless whom life in this country has bankrupted medically. I've found that to be the case with virtually all the people my age or older whom I meet that have been forced to live in whatever car they owned when it happened.
I share all this in hopes of giving you some perspective. I'd be surprised if many who follow my journey are judgemental people. But, if you happen to be someone who feels disgust when a derelict soul stumbles across your path, I challenge you to take that moment to think about how very blessed you are. It is an absolute fact that had you suffered ubearable trauma, loss, or abuse early in your life without any support to get through it in a healthy way, you could have ended up in a spiral of addiction and homelessness.
We all make snap judgements of people based on our life experiences. It is human nature and part of our survival instincts. But, it's important to temper them with empathy. It's natural to fear things we have no personal experience with or that frighten us. Don't let that fear devolve into judgement simply because you don't understand. I'm not saying you need to engage with people who frighten you. I'm simply saying that like with anything in your life when fear grips you, you need to engage it and educate yourself rather than turn away from it thoughtlessly. Fear is just an emotion like any other emotion. Nobody enjoys it, but it is an important messenger. Seek out the personal message in your fears and face them. Their is no personal growth without doing so.
