You are enough. You have purpose.

This is my dear friend Chuk Lame Crow. I don't know who the photographer is that created this, but I know it was shot in the Temple of Grace at Burning Man in 2014. I just learned yesterday that Chuk passed on a week ago. I was not prepared for that news last night and it wrecked me.

Some people are special to us because we've spent years with them and they know us like nobody else could. I've probably spent a sum total of 8 hours talking with Chuk and I feel about him like people I've known all my life. The combination of the timing of meeting him and the human he was, had a massive impact on my life and inspired a lot of what I am doing today.

Chuk was a longtime Temple Guardian at Burning Man and one of the first people I met in Guardian Camp at my first burn in 2014. He immediately recognized the sea of grief roiling beneath my surface. He welcomed me with a big hug every day as he did everyone. He and I both had roof top tents on our rigs and that got us talking right away. It didn't take long for him to call me out. I cried on him a lot and he let me do so without trying to console me or solve my problems. He was a shining example of empathy and one I aspire to everyday. He defined the spirit of a Temple Guardian, one that holds space for another.

Through the conversations and tears he managed to weave two significant messages into my heart. Firstly, that I was enough just as I was. Secondly, that my life still had purpose. Both were things I was a million miles away from accepting at the time. But, I eventually got there and sure enough, he was right.

It was clear he knew how I was feeling because he too had had similar experiences. He assured me that in a few years time, so long as I had the courage to embrace change and seek my heart's true purpose, I would come to a blessed place of gratitude and joy. He would sit across from me and put his forehead against mine and I would cry, deeply. He understood my pain and welcomed the chance to help me let some out. Chuk was as sweet as a human could ever hope to be.

I learned so much about empathy from him in those moments. Amazingly, I witnessed him doing the same for many others both in camp as well as in the Temple. This was a man who knew his purpose and embraced it with exceptional heart and balance.

I saw Lame Crow again at the 2015 burn and when he passed through Seattle in September of 2018. It was a thrill to share with him what my experiences in life and at Burning Man had inspired me to do. The last time I saw him he told me he was excited for and proud of me. I'll never forget his last hug and him saying, "See? I told you you'd find your way!". Indeed I have Chuk, and you were a huge part of guiding me.

I love you Lame Crow. See you on the other side Brother.

My biggest inspirations

In late 2013 and all of 2014 I felt like willing my heart to stop beating. My marriage had failed and for the first time in my life, I was facing the truth of all aspects of who I had been and why. The painful personal work of peeling back layer after layer was unyielding and felt unbearable. In the first year of my separation it was my children that kept me alive. In those early stages of grief and awakening, I needed someone more than myself to live for. They gave me that reason no matter how dark my world felt. They loved me through and brought precious moments of normalcy and warmth to what was a terrifyingly cold and empty new reality. With them, I got to be Dad despite all my wreckage strewn about me. They didn't see me as the broken man I had become. They saw me as their father who they loved no matter what, and that saved me. It truly did.

Like every parent that holds their child for the first time, my love for them has always been total. What is amazing to me is how it just gets deeper as we go. Aja and Talon have become my biggest inspiration to make the most of the rest of my life.

The legacy I hope my example will inscribe on their hearts is to find their purpose and burn passionately with it. To be fiercely vulnerable and willing to make mistakes. To have the courage to become who they truly are in every aspect of their lives. To trust their inner voice and always choose love over fear.

It is my deepest hope that I will inspire them in these ways, just as their steadfast love and support has inspired me on my journey. I can't thank them enough for loving me through the dark years that seem so long ago, but really weren't.

Aja, Talon, you are my heart guys. I love you always and forever. That's one thing in all your lives that you can count on never changing.

Love,

Dad

A late Christmas...

Christmas comes late for our family this time around. We waited until my daughter, Aja, could join Talon and I at my mom and sister's house. Aja is a freelance photographer and she lives in the SOMA district of San Francisco. She arrives early Tuesday morning and we'll be taking a few days for family. Always a very important thing to make time for! Especially when everyone lives in different places. She will likely join me for my Pike Place Jackdaw day a week from today. That should be fun!

I continue to hear from all kinds of people that saw the KING5 feature. The response has been wonderful and encouraging! I've also been contacted by several new agencies that would like to have me shoot for their clients, which is awesome! I'll be very busy after Aja's visit is done. It's been great meeting so many new people as a result of the TV exposure! I'm hoping all of you that have engaged me will give www.jackdaw.love a good read and consider becoming patrons of this work. It is gaining momentum and blessing so many! I'm optimistic that by the end of 2020 I'll have enough patron support to survive on as I gift. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Rich 'Jackdaw'