What's home to you?

The definition of home is a personal thing. It can be a physical place, a region, people we love, or all of these.

For me the world is home. I spend a great deal of time in my 'yard', which is whatever environment I have parked in for the moment. It's a surreal lifestyle in many ways, not the least of which is the constantly changing view I awaken to each morning when traveling like I currently am. 

I feel amazing kinship with the humans I meet along the way. Even in my current situation in Mexico as a beginning speaker of Español, I feel the connection with all whom I've stumbled through communicating with. They've been sweet and entertained by my attempts to actually speak their language! I gain a bit more ability with every encounter. And of course, Hella is a huge hit everywhere I go. People often hoot and whistle with big smiles and thumbs up as we roll by. This rig really is magic. I cannot imagine doing what I do in a modern overland rig. I'm sure the experience would be dramatically different on many levels. I'll stick with rolling vintage, thanks!

So, back to 'Home'. Of course,  the people I love will always be my heart's home. But, in the physical world, after giving up all that I have to be free to do what I do, the world has genuinely become my home. 

There is no geographic place that I consider home anymore. Home is simply wherever I am. It dawned on me anew last evening as the rain began and a few coyotes trotted by a couple hundred feet in front of me. I feel so much more connected to the physical world now than I ever did when living in a conventional home. I see really sweet and beautiful homes everywhere I travel and no matter how awesome they may be, I wouldn't trade my little truck house for any of them. This life of such freedom and environmental diversity is constantly inspiring to me. 

I may sound like a nomad life evangelist but Im really not! It's definitely not for everyone. And please don't confuse my life with those for whom terrible circumstances have forced them to live in their vehicles. The only people I know who enjoy this lifestyle are the ones who chose it. I am one of the lucky ones, for sure. Blessed to enjoy this path and make purposeful use of what it makes possible. 

It's New Year's Eve and I wanted to wish you all a blessed and inspired 2022! I sincerely wish that you feel grounded and home wherever you are. Sincere thanks to all of you who help support the Jackdaw mission! 

¡Feliz año nuevo!

Rico

The immensity of freedom

Ever since hitting the road south a month ago, I've been pondering what exactly it is that I so love about nomadic life. I'm beginning to think it's the relentless change of it all. Every day brings something unfamiliar. A new challenge, (not always fun!), encounters with new people, new places to explore. Large or small, the daily discoveries teach me about myself and what fills me up. The newness of it all is a kind of magic. Of course, there are daily routines and not so glamorous sides to nomad life just as with any lifestyle. But on balance, I think you'd be hard pressed to find another way of life that offers up such constant renewal and wonder. Imagine the views out your bedroom windows being different each morning. Your daily walk or bike ride regularly being unfamiliar. For many, that kind of constant change is uncomfortable or even stressful. But for me, it is a wonderful gift that I relish. Simple things like the morning and evening light coming through the windows from different angles all the time. In the fog of first awakening, there are mornings when I don't even remember exactly where I am.

In a simple way that sums up the magic of this lifestyle for those of us who are well suited to it. We thrive within all the change. Many of the nomads my age whom I have met are recovering people pleasers and control freaks just as I am. In our previous lives we were terrified of change and sought to control every element of our lives and those we were in relationship with. All the while not having a clue that there is nothing we have control of beyond our own words and actions. So much wasted energy and harm done in the name of fear and shame.

That life is far behind me now and it's like time has slowed down significantly for me. I see my life not before me, but right here now, only in this moment. I don't seek to control anything outside of myself anymore. Not a day passes for me without an inspired moment of deep gratitude for the life I lead and the experiences of the day. This life of such minimalist simplicity has turned out to be much more than a purposeful lifestyle. I see now that it is who I have always been at heart. 

Sometimes when talking to someone about what I'm doing, a look of disapproval will flash across their face. The look that plainly says I could accomplish so much more than I am. Or worse yet, that I'm just a midlife burnout running from life. In those moments my heart opens even wider because there was a time when I used to judge people that way. The idea that the value of a life could be quantified by what a person accomplished in their career or built in the physical world. In my opinion, it is striving hard in every aspect of one's life that literally takes what's most important in life away from them. Our lives are brief and precious, and we need so much less than what our culture is relentlessly telling us we do. One of the biggest gifts you will ever give yourself is gaining a true grasp of the difference between what you want and what you need. So much of what people think they can't live without is pure distraction used to foster the illusion that they are happy with their lives. 

Writing about all this vividly reminds me of the deep denial I was trained in and lived for 40 years before that world burned to the ground nearly ten years ago now. Yes, I've swung wide in the other direction now and I won't deny it! But, in doing so I have finally come home to the true core of the person I am. Call it destiny, past lives, whatever you like. The reality is I have the heart and spirit of a wanderer. I come alive within the constant change and challenge.

My wish for you is that you have found, or are on your way to finding, your genuine place in your world. It's not easy and takes a great deal of determination, risk, courage and honesty to get there. But, I promise you it is all worth it. Just pay careful attention to your motivations. Always check in with yourself and be sure they are rooted in love. With that as your foundation, you will go in the right direction. 

Seeking less distraction...

Upon my return to the Pacific Northwest I realized I was spending more time browsing social media. I imagine this was because I was back in familiar territory and didn't have to do so much research regarding where I was headed next. Not to mention there is cell signal damn near everywhere around here! In any case, I wasn't happy with how much time I was spending mindlessly scrolling my phone. I took a serious look at just what that time was accomplishing and it was pretty much nothing. Not that every minute of the day needs to be productive, but I felt like social media was sucking more energy out of me than it was giving. So, I decided to deactivate my personal Facebook account. It's been almost two weeks since I did and it's bee  really refreshing. I'm definitely more present in the real world as a result. Ironically, about a week after I pulled the plug on my personal FB, my four year old phone died a dramatic death taking a lot of my stuff with it. Thankfully, all my imagery was backed up on the cloud! What I did lose was a lot of my personal notes as well as a ton of progress on a game app that I had become somewhat addicted to. This gave me yet another opportunity to go further with spending less time on my phone since I've let the gaming go as a result. All in all, I am feeling a very positive effect on my spirit as a result of making these changes.

I don't share this with any intention of guilting anybody. I simply wanted to share how it has been positive for me. I have more energy and am looking around a lot more like I was all winter in the wild places I went that had no cell signal. I think my vision has even improved a bit. I encourage you to occasionally look at your habits and see if they are truly serving you in a positive way. Do you come away from your activities inspired or drained? Where you invest your energy is where your life will expand, either in positive or negative ways. 

Wishing you all an awesome Spring and Summer!

NOTE- I have no idea why the entire first paragraph of this post is dark blue! I've tried everything I can think of to rectify that and nothing has worked. Anybody know what's up? 

What the desert is showing me...

I’ve been on the road exploring the American Southwest for the last 6 weeks or so. It’s been the first time since I began living in Hella 2.5 years ago that I’ve not been relatively stationary in a city with family or friends nearby. In essence, my first truly solo nomad experience and it has taught me a lot about myself.  

I have gone remote places far from help or services. I absolutely loved the experience, but on brief occasion I was surprised to find myself experiencing some anxiety. Death Valley can make you feel so tiny! Fear never took root or lasted long, but was very telling. I’ve come to the conclusion that that’s just going to happen at times when I am moving beyond a previously established comfort zone. No sane person is fearless. We are being courageous when we face our fears and push through them. This trip has provided me with ample opportunity for growth that way.

I have found my passion and connection to the desert is as deep as my connection to the ocean. They truly have so much in common. The vastness and phenomenal beauty. The intensity and serenity. The power to take your life in an instant. The endless flow of eternal energy sweeping through you. Their ancient nature touches me deeply. It’s all made me so grateful for my situation that allows me to spend time with both!

So, those are two wonderfully positive and expanding elements of my desert exploration since January 1. Now for the revelation that is not so easy to accept or fully understand if it’s a good or bad thing.

It turns out I do not form many deep attachments. Sure, that’s good in terms of not having irrational expectations of people or places, but it makes me question my depth. Either I’m becoming more whole as a person and am living in pure gratitude with no sense of lack, or I’m in denial of the absence of the things that virtually everyone around me feels they must have in their life to be happy. In my heart I feel it’s the former, but sometimes I wonder how it is I can be so content with wandering solo like I am. Loneliness is a common topic of discussion both online and in person with other solo nomads I meet. The few I’ve had the loneliness discussion with have pointed to my truck as a big reason I don’t have the same sense of social isolation that they do and I think they may be right. I would imagine it’s akin to the reception a sailor gets when they sail into a marina with a beautiful vintage wooden boat and tie up with all the modern fiberglass hulls. No vanlifer in a white van is approached by enthusiastically smiling strangers everywhere they stop the way that I am. And when I think back to my days of living in my first van from 1990 to 1995, I recall feeling very isolated much of the time. It all adds up to a very unique vehicle based life that I am blessed to be living. I think this is probably part of why I don’t feel lonely. As someone who will always be in revovery from being a lifelong denier of reality, my mind goes a bit crazy with this stuff! I feel like I’m very attuned to my truth, purpose and heart these days, so I sincerely hope I’m on a positive track like it feels to me. But, as I’ve learned many times in my life, the more you learn the less you realize you actually know.

As with all life’s big questions, time reveals our truth to us. We simply have to be willing to see and accept it. In the meantime the best we can do is be present and brave enough to follow our inspiration and trust the journey. 

1200 miles south of five years ago

To all who I meet on the road and who message me with astonishment that I am traveling like I am in a vintage vehicle, let me just say it’s no miracle. It took several years of planning, sacrifice and work. What seems like an impossible dream is only impossible if you tell yourself it is. There is no force on earth that has as much power to constrain or free you as your own will. Yes, your life choices be they positive or negative restrict you to varying degrees. But, you always have the power to adjust your path in a personally positive direction. The key to achieving a big long-term goal is baby steps. We all love the big momentous days when a significant milestone is reached. But, those moments often have thousands of small steps between. What sustains a dream is doing something every day, even if it’s something tiny, that furthers your ultimate goal. 

Do your best not to focus on how long it’s going to take! There’s a famous quote by Earl Nightingale that I put up on my fridge in the early days of Hella’s restoration. It goes, “Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.”

When I was a single dad with years of parenting still ahead of me, this life I now lead seemed a million miles away. I could imagine it, and I worked toward it in the background, but it felt so very dreamlike as I did. It felt like a fantasy a lot of the time. But, working toward it became a source of much needed positive energy for my spirit through very challenging times.

The fact that I am in Death Valley writing this truly blows my mind! Five years ago the lifeless hulk of this old truck was dropped off in my driveway in Ellensburg, Washington. Even after getting it running four years ago, I was nervous about it getting me home from across that little town! Now the truck and I are 1200 miles south of that driveway in one of the most remote places in the lower 48 of the United States. So far this winter trip throughout the American Southwest is proving Hella fully capable of any road I’m willing to take on.

Focus your energy on your passion rather than your limitations. When we allow ourselves to get hung up on our limitations it is usually because we are fearful of failing. All achievements large or small are built on the lessons of failed steps. There is no path to your goal that is without mistakes. There’s also no guarantee your goal will be achieved. But, that’s really not the point. It’s in striving for a dream that our heart really lights up. It opens up unforeseeable possibilities not only for you, but for those in your life that get a hit of that inspiring and positive energy coming off of you.

Goals are a target and they are important. But, they are rarely stationary. They shift and evolve. The pursuit teaches us what we need to learn, how to adapt, and most importantly to go with the flow of inspiration.

Lastly, I want to encourage you to never call yourself stupid for your dreams. That negative voice is fear. It doesn’t want anything to change. It doesn’t want to risk embarrassment. It doesn’t want to be uncomfortable. Everything positive that you want for yourself is on the other side of that door. You have to push through the fear. It will keep nagging you, of course. But, it’s power in your life will steadily diminish as you learn to move through it and continue on your path.

Trust your gut and burn on!