The immensity of freedom

Ever since hitting the road south a month ago, I've been pondering what exactly it is that I so love about nomadic life. I'm beginning to think it's the relentless change of it all. Every day brings something unfamiliar. A new challenge, (not always fun!), encounters with new people, new places to explore. Large or small, the daily discoveries teach me about myself and what fills me up. The newness of it all is a kind of magic. Of course, there are daily routines and not so glamorous sides to nomad life just as with any lifestyle. But on balance, I think you'd be hard pressed to find another way of life that offers up such constant renewal and wonder. Imagine the views out your bedroom windows being different each morning. Your daily walk or bike ride regularly being unfamiliar. For many, that kind of constant change is uncomfortable or even stressful. But for me, it is a wonderful gift that I relish. Simple things like the morning and evening light coming through the windows from different angles all the time. In the fog of first awakening, there are mornings when I don't even remember exactly where I am.

In a simple way that sums up the magic of this lifestyle for those of us who are well suited to it. We thrive within all the change. Many of the nomads my age whom I have met are recovering people pleasers and control freaks just as I am. In our previous lives we were terrified of change and sought to control every element of our lives and those we were in relationship with. All the while not having a clue that there is nothing we have control of beyond our own words and actions. So much wasted energy and harm done in the name of fear and shame.

That life is far behind me now and it's like time has slowed down significantly for me. I see my life not before me, but right here now, only in this moment. I don't seek to control anything outside of myself anymore. Not a day passes for me without an inspired moment of deep gratitude for the life I lead and the experiences of the day. This life of such minimalist simplicity has turned out to be much more than a purposeful lifestyle. I see now that it is who I have always been at heart. 

Sometimes when talking to someone about what I'm doing, a look of disapproval will flash across their face. The look that plainly says I could accomplish so much more than I am. Or worse yet, that I'm just a midlife burnout running from life. In those moments my heart opens even wider because there was a time when I used to judge people that way. The idea that the value of a life could be quantified by what a person accomplished in their career or built in the physical world. In my opinion, it is striving hard in every aspect of one's life that literally takes what's most important in life away from them. Our lives are brief and precious, and we need so much less than what our culture is relentlessly telling us we do. One of the biggest gifts you will ever give yourself is gaining a true grasp of the difference between what you want and what you need. So much of what people think they can't live without is pure distraction used to foster the illusion that they are happy with their lives. 

Writing about all this vividly reminds me of the deep denial I was trained in and lived for 40 years before that world burned to the ground nearly ten years ago now. Yes, I've swung wide in the other direction now and I won't deny it! But, in doing so I have finally come home to the true core of the person I am. Call it destiny, past lives, whatever you like. The reality is I have the heart and spirit of a wanderer. I come alive within the constant change and challenge.

My wish for you is that you have found, or are on your way to finding, your genuine place in your world. It's not easy and takes a great deal of determination, risk, courage and honesty to get there. But, I promise you it is all worth it. Just pay careful attention to your motivations. Always check in with yourself and be sure they are rooted in love. With that as your foundation, you will go in the right direction.