Of pink clouds...

Last month someone who has known me my entire adult life suggested I live in a 'pink cloud'. If you're not familiar with the term, it's a common reference in 12 Step groups. Here's a good explanation courtesy of the web-

'Pink Cloud Syndrome is a phrase that developed within the recovery community to describe someone who is new to recovery (often just out of withdrawal) and riding a wave of bliss. The person feels such confidence and excitement about their recovery that it borders on unrealistic.'

I didn't initially think much of it when they referred to me in that way. Especially since I've never had to deal with chemical addiction. They didn't mean it in those literal terms of course, but was instead referencing how I appear to be happy most all the time. They definitely think I'm not paying enough attention to matters that give them great concern. The reality is that I don't give my energy to matters that I have no power to steer. This isn't to say I don't care. I listen intently and speak my peace when given the chance to do so. But, the only life I have the power to course correct is my own. I won't let other's choices, even loved ones, take my serenity because of their life choices. 

I believe I'm much more of a power for good from a positive state of mind vs one consumed with worry and fear. Especially in the case of someone I love who may be floundering. The last person we reach out to when we are disappointed in ourselves is one who we know will say, 'I told you so!'. None of us have any place judging anyone but ourselves. 

In my opinion there is no greater way that I can help anyone than by radiating love and positive energy. Doing so does not mean I never hurt or worry. When shit like that hits me I take the time to put them in perspective and work my way back to gratitude.

So, if my perpetual state of joyful gratitude appears to them as a delusional state, so be it. The truth is it took many years of deeply challenging personal work to emerge from a lifetime of dysfunction and gain the serenity I have now. There is always more to learn and the work will never be entirely 'done'. We are all works in progress! The important thing is progress. 

Lastly, I need to say that my pink cloud person is going through an intensely painful and lonely time. So in contrast,  seeing me simply happy probably seems to them like an unimaginably delusional state. It's my sincere hope that as they move through all they are dealing with they will ultimately find their way to a place of simple gratitude and peace. Existing in a judgemental state is it's own kind of Hell and we need to remember that that state is one of fear and pain. Root yourself in kindness and let their words roll off your back so that you can show them how love acts.