Kicking off 2019 like the motorhead that I am!

I have used my personal funds to buy, restore and modify my truck. Not a dime of Jackdaw patron money has been spent on her. The same is true of the big lift I’m about to undertake with the new drivetrain in January. Hella still runs but with a slipping clutch, she has been pretty much docked for the last six weeks. Her last drive with the original flathead six will be next Friday when I’ll be taking her to the shop where she will be getting a new small block V8 engine and transmission swapped in. I will be doing the work myself under the expert guidance of my professional mechanic friend Paul. He is allowing me to live out of his shop and use his lifts and equipment to get the job done. I would be dead in the water were it not for him graciously giving me this opportunity! It would cost at least $8000 in labor for a professional mechanic to undertake this drivetrain swap for me. Even without having to pay for labor, the engine, transmission and parts are wiping out the vehicle emergency fund I set up for a year before leaving my job at Central Washington University. And that’s just fine. I knew this would happen eventually and that’s why I set the money aside.

I share this for the sake of transparency. As of January my social media will be flooded with images of the work I’ll be doing to Hella and I want it very clear that I am paying for everything that you’ll be seeing transpire. The support my patrons provide goes solely to making photography for families possible, not work or modifications on my truck. I pay for that out of my own resources.

So, sit back and enjoy the show next month as I perform a heart transplant on our sweet girl. When the dust settles she will no longer be the slowest street legal vehicle in the PNW! The nostalgic purr of her original flathead engine will be replaced with some serious V8 rumble. I’ll be posting the process on my Facebook and Instagram feeds, so be sure to follow them if you are interested.

Have a kickass New Year's!

What a difference a year makes

A year ago I was working on the Jackdaw launch strategic plan in the kitchen of the little house I rented in Ellensburg. It was snowy outside and July 31, 2018 felt years away! Now, here I am in constant flux as I flow back and forth between Jackdaw in Seattle and caregiving for mom in Olympia. Nearly every aspect of my life has changed since I left Ellensburg and my job at CWU. It's an amazing and very challenging lifestyle. I find my spirit and perceptions constantly challenged, especially by my mom's situation.

It reminds me of a cartoon I once saw of two figures seated across from each other at a small table. One was 'Comfort' and the other 'Growth'. In the speech bubble Growth is saying, "I'm sorry  but this isn't going to work out". Man, it is so true! I love what I'm doing with my life and energy, but it is not comfortable, nor did I expect it to be. After five months now I can tell you comfort is extremely overrated. Seeking comfort as a life goal will make your world very small and artificial.

My wish for you as you wrap up this year and embrace the next, is that you would examine and challenge your priorities. You may have 60 years of life ahead or 10 minutes. Make the most of your gifts and energy. Get uncomfortable from time to time. I promise you, you'll learn things about yourself that you never could any other way.

Namaste.

Love is the thing!

It's Yule season and I wish you all great blessings! I can hardly believe I've been full time with Jackdaw for nearly half a year now. Living life focused on gifting has been everything I had hoped for and more. The way keeps presenting itself with every leap I take! Thank you to all of you for your moral and financial support. It means more to me and the families I serve than I can say! This is the life of purpose I have been seeking for so long and I couldn't be more grateful for it. I wish you all love and inspiration in 2019!

An interesting opportunity...

Hella has been down with a failing clutch for two weeks now. I'm only driving her very short distances and only when necessary. She's just a month away from a new drivetrain, so it's not a big disaster or anything. Of course, it's not something I wanted to happen, but it's all working out and I'm happy about how the new drivetrain will impact my capabilities.

The interesting opportunity this situation has given me is one of personal reflection. It's probably no surprise, but I am one of those gearhead guys that deeply identifies with his ride. Shocking, right? In my previous life I owned and modified a 1978 Ford Bronco for over 13 years. I had dreamed of owning one of those since I was 13 when they first came out. Looking back at the last years of my marriage and it's ultimate end a few years ago, I can say that I was paying an unhealthy amount of attention to that vehicle. I was finding much of my personal worth and identity in how my Bronco looked and functioned and what sweet modification was next on the build list. I was defining my personal value by external metrics. It was a life lived in constant denial in many ways.

That all changed in the years of my separation and divorce. It took losing nearly everything for me to finally break hard enough to see the truth of my life. I wish it hadn't taken such personal loss, but that was my road and I'm deeply grateful for where it has brought me now. I share all of this because I noticed just yesterday that while I miss Hella, having her down has not depressed or disturbed me like it used to with the Bronco when it had a problem. It's a huge change for me that I'm very grateful for. Hella is not my identity, she's my truck. Yes, I love the damn thing and think it's cool as hell. But, she's not what makes me worthy of anything. Hella is just my sweet ride that gives Jackdaw a friendly, memorable face and is a big part of what makes this all possible. This may all sound a bit silly, but it's a great realization for me. The realization that I am worthy just as I am whether I show up at a shoot with a badass ex-military vehicle, a U-Haul van, or stepping off a Metro bus. And that feels great!