Embracing storms

I'm currently in the beautiful little fishing town of Westport, Washington. Some dramatic weather rolled in off the Pacific yesterday evening. It was swift and glorious. Weather like that reminds me so much of life! There is no stopping it and the only thing we have control of is how we react to it.

The Covid19 pandemic has been a storm for everyone in some form or another. I am blessed that my loved ones are all safe thus far. The shutdown has given my children a unique and unforseen opportunity to reset their lives and priorities. Being forced to suspend portrait creation in shelters for the last two months has given me much needed time with my sister as we grieve mom's passing in early March. It has also provided me the headspace for some fresh self-examination.

As many of you know, it's easy to cruise along on autopilot in life. We all do it at times and there is nothing wrong with it so long as our course is authentic. The challenging thing about charting a true course is that it calls for a fair amount of awareness and personal sacrifice. I'm steadily coming to the conclusion that the more inspired one's life is, the more challenging it becomes. Inspiration and challenge seem inextricably linked and scaled in proportion to one's willingness to follow their instincts. It is especially challenging for a recovering people-pleaser such as myself to not feel selfish about decisions I make if they hurt or disappoint someone I love or care about. The deception of that seemingly altruistic impulse to never disappoint is that it's actually about power and control, not love. It's a manifestation of the idea that I actually have power over another's happiness, which of course, nobody does. As adults we are all responsible for ourselves and I can no more make someone else happy and satisfied with their life than they can mine. As a matter of fact, it's when you give in to the illusion that you have that kind of power that you will make both yourself, and the ones you love, sick and dependent. It's an unsustainable and destructive dance of codependency. Love is never ever about power or control.

It takes courage to follow our heart's desire and trust the journey. It also takes faith in those we love and choose to share our lives with. Love calls for us to believe in them and their instincts. It inspires us to strengthen their wings any way that we can even if doing so appears to take them away from us. The truth is, anytime we love like that, it always brings our hearts closer.