I received a gift today

On my walk to the library I came across a beautiful Seagull flight feather. I've been walking all over Seattle for two months now and this is the first gull feather I have come across. Judging by it's shape and the frayed last inch of it's trailing edge at the tip, I'd say it's been aloft for a long time before being replaced. It's been really fun to examine this morning.

It got me thinking about the nature of a gift. It continues to sadden me a bit how difficult it is for some people to understand what I'm doing. When I present Jackdaw to a new agency or individual, they are understandably skeptical. It's indicative of the society we live in where there is always a catch. All kinds of companies offer 'free' this and that. We all know it is never free. Even if it doesn't cost us something, you can bet the freebie has their brand all over it so you are turned into an advertising vehicle for them. Everyone has to be on their guard to assure they aren't being deceived or screwed over somehow. I patiently wade through the inquisition every time because it is necessary since we are all conditioned that a stranger doesn't give away something valuable for the sheer love of it. That's a sad thing to me. I wonder if it's that way everywhere in the world, or if it's exclusive to a wealthy nation like ours?

In any case, I loved the beautiful feather that I was gifted with this morning. I accidentally left it in the park before coming into the library to work for a while. When I was a block away I realized I had forgotten it and turned around to go back. I got two steps before it occurred to me that I had had my time with it and now it was someone else's turn. Sometimes, the best gifts are the ones you share.

A day of synchronicities

One of the most remarkable benefits of this lifestyle I have chosen is the time it gives me. Time to wander and follow whatever path unfolds for the day. Not all my days are unstructured, but today was. And this unstructured day brought me valuable new acquaintances and experiences. It started off like most of my Seattle days at the Ballard library using their wifi and doing some Photoshop work. After that I boarded the bus downtown and dropped off the prints and digital files at the Lyon. Stepping out their door is when the day opened up.

It's a glorious, sunny Fall day here. One of those days that is pure joy to walk around a city, so I did. As I walked north through downtown from Pioneer Square, I was reminded of an agency called Mary's Place that I've been trying to connect with. I looked them up on my phone and found their downtown address on Dexter. It was several blocks away so I just kept meandering in that direction. After a while, I felt like taking a sit for a bit. I couldn't find a bench, so I headed down a shady street between 3rd and 2nd. I plopped my ass down on the curb next to a gorgeous Pontiac Strato Chief. I took a drink of my water and then snapped the pic at the top of this post. The reflections in her curves were dynamite. As I'm sitting there, the owner of the car comes up with a new parking payment sticker for the window. I greeted him, told him his car was boss and that I just got a great pic of it and would he like to see it? He looked me over and said, 'You look harmless, sure!'. He liked the shot, so I asked if he'd like me to send it to him. He gave me his number and I sent it to him right then. It turns out he's and actor and an artist. His name is Rick. He was working on a large mural in a bar around the corner. I gave him my card and he was happy to have met me. We're connected on Instagram now. Way cool. So, I began walking again, enjoying my music as I went.

I found Mary's Place and was greeted warmly. I told the ladies at the desk briefly what I do and was given the business card of the person I need to contact to set up a shoot. Yay!

After I left Mary's Place, I began walking the alleys toward Lake Union. That's where I spotted the sweet little Goldfinch that had flown into the windows of one of the new buildings there. A very poignant reminder of our temporal nature. After sitting with him a few moments and then saying good journey, I headed down the alley and crossed through some new Amazon building with a cool glass topped breezeway between buildings.

I walked along the west side of Lake Union toward Fremont with the plan to eventually get on the bus to Ballard. It got interesting when I reached the docks full of floating homes. Those things are so damn awesome! I came across one that was open and had no gate. Just a sign that said, 'Private. Residents and Guests only'. I consider myself a guest, so I headed down the dock like I had every right to be there. The little homes were so unique and sweet. As I reached the end of the dock, I came across my first person there. I said hello and how goes it? He smiled and said he had had better days. I said I was sorry to hear that and what's up? He motioned to a large wooden flower box full of beautiful plants floating in the water behind his sailboat. He said he was about to take a cruise on the lake when he realized that somehow his boat had pulled the flower box off the dock edge as he pulled away. He was super bummed and trying to figure out how to get it back up. I said I bet we could get it up on dock together and he accepted my help. We introduced ourselves and got to work. His name is Adam. We got it turned right side up and tried hoisting it the couple of feet up out of the water, but it was just too heavy and it began coming apart as we put more muscle into it. So, Adam grabbed some rope off his boat and we got both ends tied up tight and maneuvered it back into lifting position. Using the ropes as handles we just managed to get it up on the dock with a mighty effort. We were relieved and happy! So see? I was a guest after all. Another new friend made by wandering where my heart leads me. I then relaxed on the end of the dock for a few minutes before saying goodbye and heading back to the street to catch my bus.

I tell ya, the lifestyle that living out of Hella allows me is not a sacrifice. It is an inspiration and blessing all the time. Namaste.

The rain descends

My work for today is done. I'm parked at the marina where my son lives. It's nearly six pm and I've been reading for about an hour. It's one of those moments when I marvel at how nice my living space is. Even on this rainy, dreary evening, I have plenty of natural light to read by. It's warm and dry in here and I have an apple and a fresh loaf of sourdough to snack on. As you all know by now, I spent nearly five years living in a van 30 years ago in order to get my photography career off the ground after I graduated from the Art Institute of Seattle. And even though I chose that path and was excited about it, it was much harder than this time around. I felt displaced and like I didn't belong anywhere. The van was dark inside and not nearly as comfortable as Hella. So, on days that I didn't have work, I did a lot of driving to pass the time. It's the complete opposite with Hella. I built her to serve as my home and I enjoy time spent here when weather forces me indoors or I need a respite from public spaces. It's a huge contrast!  One of the most popular Instagram hashtags for vanlifers is #homeiswhereyouparkit. Well, when you've chosen this path and built a rig with that intent, that tagline is absolutely true! No debt and no rent. That is some serious wealth and freedom my friends. This lifestyle isn't for everybody. But, if you've ever considered it, feel free to give me a shout and I'll share my experience with you.

"Are you happy?"

A dear friend asked me this today as she sat in Hella looking around for the first time. It takes about 2 minutes to tour this little house! I had just seen her home for the first time a couple of hours previous and the contrast between the two couldn't have been greater. I'm not sure why she asked me that in that moment, but my answer came immediately and without doubt or hesitation. Yes, I am happy. As a matter of fact, I have never been so happy in all my life. There is no sacrifice in what I'm doing with my life. Quite the contrary really. It may be hard for some to believe me when they see my 60 square foot home in person for the first time. What many don't get is that my life is not contained in this little space, (though I know she gets it), I simply eat and sleep here. I live out in the world. One of my favorite aspects of this lifestyle is how it relentlessly thrusts me out into the world around me. Hella is comfortable and a nice place to awaken in the morning and wrap a day. But, I definitely do not 'live' in here! I rest here. I cook here. My few possessions are here. I dream and plan here. But the doing of life is all around me. I never know for sure where I will land each day and that inspires me deeply. It's a steady reminder of the reality that change is the only constant in life. That each and every day could be my last. It is an amazing gift to live in that flow the way I get to and it suits me very well. I think that for me now, the home I aspire to build is one of connection with my fellow humans and the world around me. And this tiny rolling box I call my home is the perfect vehicle to build that empire of love.

A week for mom

This is my precious mom. She is a big part of why I am doing what I'm doing right now. Leaving my full time job at CWU not only freed me up to expand portrait gifting to my full time purpose, it also freed me to give back to this amazing woman who has given me more than anyone in my life. I don't think I could love her more than I do! And now that I am free from the anchor of a full time job 200 miles from where she lives, I will be spending at least a week a month with her. I park Hella on her front yard and spoil her for a week. It's challenging switching gears from all I have going on with Jackdaw, but it's a very rewarding and grounding experience to focus on her life and needs for a week. Being with her always teaches me new things about her and myself. My week here is up tomorrow and I head back to Seattle. Back to my passion and some new and very exciting developments for Jackdaw. In the wake of this last week spent with my mother, I go forward with deep gratitude for all she has instilled in me. Love, kindness, gentleness and faith. You laid the foundation of the person I have become Mom. Thank you from the deepest part of me. You define the spirit of Jackdaw and you live in this work with me. All my love Dear one!

A timely gift...

Yesterday, my friends Arcelia and Jonas swung through Ballard to say hello. They gave me some very thoughtful gifts. A necklace from Jonas and a book and crystal from Arcelia. It was very sweet! The book is one of her favorites as well as mine. It's 'Illusions. The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah', by Richard Bach. I had this book many years ago and lent it out to someone, never to see it again. Incidentally, the same thing happened to Arcelia's copy! So, she bought me a new one for my journey. The timing couldn't be more perfect and I will enjoy revisiting these pages that I have read a few times in my life. It is even more timely for me now. I flipped it open this morning to see what random page it would open to, and the one pictured is where I landed.

I know I am doing what I am meant to do with my life. I feel it to my core with a certainty I have never felt before. Fears occasionally show up, but fall away as quickly as they materialized. One of the amazing aspects about letting go of my worldly 'empire' is that I have very little left to guard or protect. It has freed my heart to love in ways I had been afraid to in my previous life. Nothing to guard, total acceptance of who and what I am, and the same acceptance of everyone I meet. No more concern with earning anybody's respect or approval. I am just me doing what I am meant to do. No more illusory 'future' to build. Just love to give in this day and let life be what it will. This state of being is all the wealth I could ever ask for. Talk about blessed!

Follow your wild heart and have a wondrous day!

A day at Pike Place Market

Parking was free in Seattle today, so I got up early to assure a killer parking spot at the market this morning. Hella worked her usual magic and I spoke to well over a hundred people today. It was a fantastic day of generating Jackdaw awareness as evidenced by my website lighting up tonight. Definitely time well spent and we made a lot of people smile! Now I'm going to crash!