Go hard or not at all

I came across this art walking home yesterday afternoon. Yes, it's a violent image, but I can't help but love it. Not because of the banger sending rounds down the street, but because of the message, 'Bang hard or don't bang at all'. It's the perspective of going for it without reservation. Committing oneself fully once they've decided to go. For 48 years I didn't know how to do that. I could fake it pretty well, but inside I knew I was always holding myself back from giving it all. Consequently, it took losing my entire construct to finally break me hard enough to find the courage to allow who I really am to come to the fore. The journey was brutal, but so very worth it. Along the way I shed every element of my life that did not serve me. I got leaner and leaner which released me more and more to fulfill the purpose that was driving me forward. I can't adequately describe the feeling of being free to focus my energy on what I love. It's hilarious to me that all I own in this world fits in this truck, yet I feel incredibly wealthy! The work I do now brings smiles, hugs and legacy. I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that I am on my right path and will do whatever it takes to stay on this road of gifting.

Which brings me back to the message in the graffiti. In everything you are passionate about, give it all you've got. Don't hold back. Be brave and vulnerable. The only regrets I have in my life are the times I held back. Unleash the full power of your potential. Scary? Yes, it is sometimes. You will fall at times. But, you'll get up wiser for it and adjust. Just don't dial it back when you adjust! Embrace the lessons and keep moving toward that horizon.

Back in business!

I'm back in Seattle. Winter is wrapping up. Hella has her new heart and is kicking ass. The sun is beaming in this morning and I am charged to get the portraits humming again! Being hobbled by engine problems and repairs for 3 months was very challenging. But, I am very grateful for the timing. While it was miserable doing that work in freezing temperatures, I'm very glad it wasn't going on during my busy time of year.

I just finished breakfast and planning my week. It's so nice having the sun slowly warm up the interior. I awoke today with an immense feeling of being blessed and boundless. I am ready to rock! Here's wishing you all the same sense of purpose in your life. Be brave and venture forth! The day is yours.

A bit out of town last week...

I have a couple exceptional kids. They were raised that the best gifts are experiences, not things. So, their Christmas gift to me a couple months ago was that they were taking me with them on their trip to Cairo, Egypt. We just returned to the states yesterday, and to say the trip adjusted my perspective on life would be a grand understatement. This was not a vacation. Rather, it was an immersion into a completely foreign culture in which we could not speak or read any part of the language including numbers. I have never been so vulnerable and clueless anywhere I have traveled as I was last week! It's going to take time to process the entirety of the experience. I learned much about Egyptian history and culture, both old and new. We walked about 20 miles of downtown Cairo and Giza while there. People were generally warm and friendly, though it was very clear tourists rarely walked where we did. It was incredible to go about streets and structures that were thousands of years old. The sense of antiquity oozes out of every crack and crevice there. I can't express enough how grateful I am to Aja and Talon for taking me along for this! So much of the experience touched my heart and challenged my perceptions. I have returned to the U.S. with renewed purpose for what I'm doing with Jackdaw, as well as a new gratitude for the incredible resources this country of ours enjoys.

Well, it's time to board my flight from San Francisco to Seattle now. Onward!

Dawn's early light

All the work is done and it's time to roll out of the woods of Poulsbo. This morning was my first in a month to awaken to natural light. What a simple pleasure! After a month of sleeping in Hella inside a shop with no windows, I really relished it.

All appears to be functioning well with the new drivetrain thus far. I had to make a clutch adjustment last night, but I think it's good now. I'll know soon! I will be forever grateful to Paul and Karion for making this all possible. I could not have done it alone. Even with Paul's expert help, it was a big push beyond my anxieties to tear out the original drivetrain and engineer how to fit a different one in. The education I received along the way is priceless. I now know every detail of the drivetrain in my truck. That is gold where driving a vintage, and now very custom, vehicle is concerned.

Time to load up the final boxes, grab a shower and say my goodbyes for now to Paul and Karion. Then I roll for the ferry.

I've got butterflies all over again!

What day is it?!

Day of the week? That I rarely know off the top of my head lately! It's Day 17 of the engine swap and I feel a bit spun, but it's a milestone day! We finished fabrication of all the driveline mounts today and the engine and transmission are bolted into the frame solid as a rock. I've been living and working in Paul's shop for over two weeks now and the progress we have made is phenomenal. Taking on this project was another big leap. I knew I had the mechanical skills to do this, but having never done it, I was nervous. But, it had to be faced and with each new day the solutions are found as we simply dig in. We still have many challenges ahead of us as we fabricate custom linkage. But, we'll figure it out as we go.

Just like life, if you wait until you think you are completely prepared to do something, you may never do it. Don't be afraid to fail. Failure is part of life and will happen whether you are doing what you want to or not. Problems are always opportunities to grow and learn, so don't let their potential keep you from following your instincts.

Once you know what you want, go for it with all you've got.

Engine swap day 9...

Damn. I meant to be doing all sorts of social media updating as I worked through this process. But, it's just been too much work and focus to stop what I'm doing at each step to post to the web. It's a major project with so many more details than I expected. One thing leads to another and you decide to upgrade this and that since you have everything torn out anyway! All the work of engine removal and chassis prep for the new V8 is done. The new engine and all it's parts arrived today which means phase two begins tomorrow! Cleaning all the threads in the new engine and then bolting up all the external parts. Should be fun! Cold, but fun! I will definitely post up pics of the assembled engine before she goes in.

For now, I'm going to make a nice hot dinner and then spend my evening reading up and watching videos regarding the different parts I'll be assembling tomorrow. I hope you are all well and happy. I am anxious to get this job done and be back to work gifting portraits!

Greasy and cold, inspired and happy.

It's Day 4 of Hella's heart transplant and all is going fabulously! As you can see in the pic, her original flathead six and transmission are out and I've been busy cleaning and rewiring the engine bay for the incoming V8. Pulling the engine was the easy part. Mounting the new V8 engine and transmission plus fabricating all their linkage, will be the real challenge. But, thanks to my awesome mentor Paul, I have every confidence we'll get it done, and done well. He's the person truly making this possible for me. Without his experience, shop, and tools, I'd still be sparingly limping Hella around Seattle with no solution in sight. So, while I am literally working in a refrigerator, (a freezer today actually!), I could not be more grateful and excited! The new engine, transmission and all the parts needed to finish up should be here this week.

Taking on this conversion has been a major exercise in faith. There isn't a kit out there for adapting a V8 to a Canadian 1954 Dodge M152. We are diving in with our combined skills to make it happen. I would be considerably more anxious about the scale of this project had it happened a year ago. But, after all I have experienced in leap taking since quitting my state job to go full time with Jackdaw, I know all is happening as it should. I am way more excited and intrigued with all I'm doing and learning than I am concerned with how it will all work out. I simply know it will. From large to small, problems always present opportunities to grow and this time is no exception. I encourage you to take a few leaps this year. Do something you know you want to do, but don't feel you're ready yet. In my experience, you're never more ready than you are right now. Take the leap with an open heart and willingness to grow and the results will amaze you.